You won’t “need an ocean of calamine lotion” if you can recognize, avoid, and, if necessary, successfully treat poison ivy.
Identifying poison ivy can be challenging due to its varying appearances throughout the year. Typically, poison ivy leaves consist of three leaflets, with the middle stem longer than the side stems. Young foliage appears shiny, while older leaves are dull. Mature vines, especially those climbing trees, tend to be hairy. The leaves can be green, red, pink-tinged, yellow, or orange, with smooth, lobed, or toothed edges.

If unsure about identification, consult a poison ivy expert, bring a sample to a local cooperative extension office, use a plant identification app, or compare your plant to photos on educational websites. Once identified, either call a professional or, if removing it yourself, take protective measures.
When removing poison ivy, wear long sleeves, pants, gloves, and goggles. Avoid touching your face or other surfaces. Remove clothing and wash immediately after the job to prevent skin contact with the plant’s oils.
The best way to eradicate poison ivy is to pull it up by its roots. Early spring, after freeze-thaw cycles or after rainfall, makes the task easier. Note that roots can grow up to a foot deep and horizontally extend up to 20 feet, requiring thorough removal.
Dispose of all plant parts in a tightly sealed, heavy black plastic bag and set it out with the trash. Never burn poison ivy, as the smoke can be toxic.
After removal, wash your hands and tools with a cleanser like Tecnu. Thoroughly clean anything that contacts the plant, including footwear, clothing, and pets, to avoid spreading urushiol, the oil that causes the rash. Rewash your hands to ensure all traces are removed.