“Nature has taught me about fluid adaptability. About not only weathering storms,
but using howling winds to spread seeds wide, torrential rains to nurture roots
so they can grow deeper and stronger…”
~ adrienne maree brown, excerpt from Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds
Resilience is a bit of a buzzword these days– probably because it is a quality that the general public (and marginalized folks more specifically) need more than ever in the face of unrelenting uncertainty. Within our “quick fix,” DIY culture, there seems to be an innate desire for instant gratification, to search and find, to scroll and click– hopefully landing on a solution that’s going to help us feel better in a moment of need. Finding resilience to “weather the storm” is a common sentiment as we navigate turbulent times.
If resilience is the ability to bounce back in the midst of difficult circumstances, what do I need to be able to do that? The search itself can feel anxiety-inducing. Is it more sleep, a different diet, more water, regular cardio, deeper breaths, more social engagement, a discipline of gratitude, fewer commitments, more creativity, meditation, a stronger faith, a new hobby, therapy (but what kind??), a good massage, the right medication, the right blend of natural supplements, or a daily dose of laughter…the list of advice goes on and on! What is the right equation that is going to produce resilience in this particular moment? Although it’s natural to keep asking the question, there isn’t a right or wrong answer that we’re going to find from an individual teacher, coach, therapist, doctor, discipline, or Google search. The seeking and finding must always eventually return home to the self for a true and authentic response. As I tell my yoga students at the start of each practice, “While I am your instructor for this class today, your body and your experience are always your best teachers.”
From my personal experience, resilience is not found in developing any discipline, strategy, or routine specifically, and (despite the latest fad your social media algorithm might be pushing) there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Maybe what we seek is stamina and equanimity to endure whatever storm comes our way, but resilience isn’t about being physically strong, mentally calm, or emotionally regulated. Pursuing the embodiment of all these qualities all the time will leave us feeling defeated. Rather, I have found that resilience resides in “fluid adaptability,” often somewhere near the intersection of our inner strength and inner peace and most profoundly where these two are rooted in community.
Certainly, learning, listening, experiencing, and sharing ideas are all essential for growth, but ultimately, we must give ourselves permission to trust our own intuition to meet the needs of the moment and the season of life we are presently facing. In your exploration, what activities make you feel strong and energized? What practices support you in feeling regulated, and with steadiness of mind and heart, to respond skillfully in stressful moments? And who are the people in your life who lift you up, inspire you and offer unconditional support– the ones who intuitively know whether you need a good laugh or a warm hug (and who ask when they don’t)? What communities provide a sense of genuine belonging and connection? Create more space for those practices and people. And when that feels overwhelming, start small. As a dear friend recently reminded me in a personal moment of grief– doing at least one simple thing that brings you joy every day is a powerful and revolutionary act.
At a meditation course I attended last month, the instructor, Leslie Booker, spoke to the topic of “cultivating an undefeated heart.” She shared that even many dedicated practitioners she knew had been confiding that their tried and true wellness routines “weren’t working anymore.” They felt that their practices weren’t keeping up with the enormous weight of the current climate– a sentiment that resonated deeply with many of those in attendance. The word cultivate brought my mind back to my Adams County agricultural roots. Just as the farmer knows from their professional expertise what a plant needs to thrive, they must also adapt and respond with careful observation to the constant changes in growing conditions that come with each season. No two plants or growing seasons are exactly alike. Cultivation of self requires a similar approach to that of a faithful gardener– accepting an inevitably shifting climate and offering care that is informed by fine-tuned attention.
In mindfulness meditation, we often describe this level of self-awareness as accompanying ourselves through life as a beloved friend, without judgment or expectation– sitting with physical sensation, being with our emotions, walking alongside the intricacies of daily lived experience with curious and compassionate observation. In yogic tradition, and also in many other wellness and spiritual practices, time that is dedicated to being present in our bodies, minds and hearts, and present with our loved ones, gives us the space to listen, to tune in, to connect and to nourish all of these areas of our being more fully. With this sort of care, we are able to adapt and grow through all of life’s seasons, even the most unpredictable.
Resilience is not a quality that we seek externally; it’s not something that we can produce or attain because we already have it. The place where our resilience resides might feel like a constantly moving target, especially within a context of perceived or real chaos. But as we pay attention, with mindful, loving awareness, and lean into the care practices and communities that nurture and ignite our spirits, this is how we cultivate the resilience that is already within us. This is how we come back again and again with an undefeated heart.
As adrienne maree brown reminds us in the opening quote, nature is another one of our greatest teachers. Ask any local grower– resilience is planting a seed, knowing that last season’s crop was wiped out by disease or hail and that the coming season might bring early frost or even wildfires. But she keeps growing. Each spring, she makes the intentional choice to plant again. Despite the howling winds of the season and unrelenting uncertainty, she continues to believe in the possibility of life, the resilience within each seed, and carefully tends and nourishes the soil that surrounds it.
