Letting go

Sitting in the doctor’s office yesterday and looking at all the others also waiting to receive their treatments for macular degeneration, I was struck by just how unkind the aging process is to most of us.  It’s not that I want to live forever, but this aging business seems so unfair.  Intellectually, I can see how we are designed to keep growing and becoming until,  at some point, our physical and intellectual capabilities begin slipping away.  I suppose that’s the way it’s supposed to be, but when I look in the mirror or try to do something that used to be easy, I am struck anew by the ebbing of my energy, strength, and ability to take care of myself.  That seems tragic, as now that I am in my late 80s, I finally feel as if I am not just wise enough to make a contribution, but I have reached a point where I have left much of my ego behind.   Think what our world could be like if we were led by men and women who were not so caught up in their egos.  But, so be it.

Life, it seems, is a constant series of lessons in letting go.  When we are young, life seems filled with opportunities, but as we age, we find that many of the things that seemed so important to us are no longer so appealing.  Young love is all about sex and lust and appearance and bonding and child-rearing. But as we age, those drives dwindle and we begin focusing on the importance of another kind of love relationship that can bring a new type of intimacy that is not associated with sex or control or power. The bond between grandparent and grandchild.  The caring friendship between two or more women who choose to live together in their twilight years.  The caring of a child for an aged parent. Love that recognizes that compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance are more important than the acquisition of money. 

I have no idea where I am going with this, but I have come to the realization that, while work and creativity and being dependable and socially responsible and all that stuff  are all incredibly important, in the end, what is most important of all is love.  The love that wills what is best for the other.  The love that treasures the gift of self.  The love that honors the efforts of others. The love that treasures our planet and tends to it.  The love that has is filled with compassion,  mercy,  and acceptance.  The love that sees more value in the efforts of others rather than their own achievements. The love that can sustain us as the years strip away our abilities and in their place gifts us with a sense of oneness with the world and with that oneness,  peace of mind and heart.