Well, we tried to warn MAGA, but the inevitable just happened. For the first time ever, the United States of America unconditionally surrendered and for the first time since “Millions for Defense, but Not One Cent for Tribute,” we are paying tribute to an Islamic power to release hostages – though the hostages this time are oil tankers and their crews, not U.S. merchant ships and warships.
The MOU makes the dimensions of our defeat and surrender so clear that even MAGA should be able to see it.
One, Paragraph 4 of the MOU. We immediately end the blockade and “further undertakes to remove its forces from the proximity of the Islamic Republic of Iran within 30 days after the final deal.”
Two, paragraph 5, while immediately opening the Strait (subject to mine-clearing, of course), “The Islamic Republic of Iran will conduct dialogue with the sultanate of Oman to define the future administration and maritime services in the Strait of Hormuz …” or, in other words, tolls.
Three, remember yesterday, when Obama releasing $1.7 billion of Iran’s assets was essentially treason?
Paragraph 6: “The United States undertakes with regional partners to develop a definitive mutually agreed upon plan with at least USD $300 billion for the reconstruction …” and paragraph 11: “The United States of America undertakes to make fully available for use the frozen or restricted funds and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran upon the implementation of this MOU.”
Four, paragraph 7 of the MOU. “The United States of America undertakes to terminate all types of sanctions against the Islamic Republic …”
Five, remember “Iran will never have a nuclear weapon?” and “they were two weeks away from having a bomb?” Paragraph 8: The Islamic Republic of Iran reaffirms that it shall not procure or develop nuclear weapons. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran have agreed to resolve the disposition of stockpiled enriched material, pursuant to a mechanism that will be mutually agreed upon.” Far weaker language than the JCPOA which Trump cancelled.
Five A: And paragraph 9: “Pending the final deal, the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran agree to maintain the status quo. The Islamic Republic of Iran will maintain the current status quo of its nuclear program, and the United States of America will not impose any new sanctions, and will not deploy additional forces in the region.”
Six, paragraph 10: The United States of America undertakes that immediately upon the signing of this MOU, and until the termination of sanctions, the U.S. Department of Treasury will issue waivers for the export of Iranian crude oil, petroleum products and derivatives, and all associated services, including banking transactions, insurances, transportation, etc.”
In short, no mention of regime change (They’re great guys and easy to deal with). No mention of the missile program. No mention of support for terrorism.
We ended the blockade and agreed to remove troops from nearby and not deploy additional troops. We agreed to release all their impounded funds PLUS “at least” another $300 billion. We agreed to terminate sanctions, let them export oil, and participate once again in the world economy. We gave them permission to impose tolls on traffic through the Strait. We agreed it’s fine for them to keep their nuclear materials (which, remember?, had them two weeks from a bomb a few months ago) until we reach a deal.
And in return, they promised to reopen the Strait immediately (oh well, once the mines are cleared) and made more or less the same mealy-mouthed “no nuclear weapons” promise that was made in the JCPOA. Inspections? Destruction of stockpiles? Limits on amount of enriched material? All of which were in the JCPOA? Well, we’ll talk about it. Promise.
And that, folks, is what happens when you lose a war and send two property developers and the author of a book about hillbillies to negotiate with the top pros in the world.
