I’m watching tiny snowflakes drift lazily to the ground, waiting for my husband to awake. He has a cold. I panicked last night fearing covid19 or one of its variants, but with morning and a cup of coffee the world has righted itself. At hospice’s suggestion we are to isolate ourselves for several days just to be sure, but with his rapid response to Nyquil, (their suggestion) they are confident he’s simply picked up one of the many viruses we call a common cold.
I’ve been reading a novel our daughter recommended, Death Qualified a murder mystery involving math, fractals, algorithms — all that stuff I don’t understand — but I understand enough to help me understand how scientists have been able to develop the Covid19 vaccines so quickly. You see, all Covid viruses exhibit similar patterns and responses. I am reminded once again that everything in nature is connected; that we are shaped by patterns we cannot perceive with our limited minds. What gives me hope, with this new glimmer of perception is: even with the most chaotic appearing systems and situations order arises from chaos for chaos plays a critical role in the evolution of life and the universe.
I don’t like chaos, conflict, or confusion. Chaos and conflict make me anxious, fearful. I long for life to flow smoothly, to be orderly and predictable — which it is, for the most part. I just can’t see it. At the same time, I am both comforted and inspired by the way everything is interconnected, all part of a larger whole. I am reassured to know that within the most chaotic appearing systems and situations, a new order is arising. There is a reason for everything as everything is interconnected, reflecting amazingly beautiful patterns, all part of a greater whole, what many of us call God. Even deadly pandemics reinforces my belief in a cohesive higher power.
What we call coincidence is actually evidence of our inter-connectedness, the patterns that shape our lives. My husband likes to sleep with the TV on. What he hears as white noise keeps me awake, my brain refusing to shut down while his seems to relax. Do opposites truly attract? Is there a pattern here? Just before I picked up my book, the talking heads on TV were discussing how our current political chaos is forcing everyone into a greater acceptance of differences, even as it appears our gaps are widening. Evolution being evolution, we cannot see what is gradually happening. Nor does our discomfort with change negate the intertwining of chaos and order as seen from God’s greater perspective. Relatively isolated by the ongoing pandemic and my spouse’s illness, I may find it difficult to accept the seeming insanity of today’s social chaos, but by believing in a Higher Power, I am finally able to accept everything as part of God’s larger plan.
“What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. What I know now is partial; then it will be complete — as complete as God’s knowledge of me. Meanwhile these three remain; faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.” I Cor. 13: 12-13