I ate breakfast on our patio this morning. Being in the shade, the patio escapes much of the hot sun until mid-afternoon. I’m not sure why I don’t sit out there more often, as it’s delightful. I can look at the houses marching up the street, watch the breezes tickle the tree leaves, and appreciate the flowers tilting their faces to the sun. And, of course, I have my book. I love to read as I eat.
With the diagnosis of macular degeneration, I am very aware of how much I use my eyes. My eyesight is another one of those things I’ve taken for granted. Like being able to walk. To talk. To hear. To feel. To touch. To sense. To taste. Being sick has reminded me of just how marvelous our bodies are. Each day now, I am trying to say thank you to my Higher Power.
There are so many things I’m grateful for as a senior citizen. I spent far too many years racing through life, trying to grasp as many experiences, do as much as I could, and meet as many people as possible to be sensitive to the amazing things that happen every ordinary day. Mine has been a rich and fulfilling life, and while I would do some things differently if I could redo them, I have few regrets. After all, for every action, there is a reaction, and if we are open to learning the lessons life has to teach us, we get to see how nothing is ever all bad or all good. What counts is the spin we put on what happens.
If nothing else, getting older is teaching me to let go of control. I no longer need the world to fit into my druthers. Yes, I wish many things were different. I have serious concerns for my children and grandchildren. But every day is a Step One day. Morning stiffness reminds me that I am really quite powerless over most things in life, which is actually a vast relief. What a blessing to no longer be encumbered with all of the shoulds and oughts that shaped so much of my younger days. For instance, my relationship with my Higher Power is my relationship now, not a copy of someone else’s, which is a big relief. After all, Step Eleven encourages us to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding, not someone else’s. Which brings me back to the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage.