The birds are screeching and flapping around the bird feeders this morning. It’s been cold enough that little has melted, so our landscape still looks like a Christmas card, and it must be hard for them to find food. It is truly beautiful, and when my daughter took me to the dentist, I just gazed out of the car window at the rows of fruit trees marching up the hillsides, stark and dark without their leaves outlined against the pristine snow at their feet. I’d do well to stop and drink in the beauty of my surroundings more often. God has gifted us with an amazing planet, and it saddens me that we are not more attentive to its beauty and needs.
With the cold weather, we seniors tend to stay inside where it is nice and warm, but a call from a friend reminded me that in spite of the cold, it is important to keep tabs on our family and friends, especially those who tend to be housebound. Friendships and caring family relationships don’t just happen. They require effort, deliberation, thought, acceptance, and more than an infrequent “I’m sorry.”
This morning I took time to read several devotionals in my copy of One Day at a Time in Alanon. One reading had to do with courtesy. The writer noted that there is a vast difference between politeness and courtesy. We can be polite even when we are angry, but courtesy comes from the heart. Courtesy is the warm expression of concern for the well-being of the other, even if that other is a stranger.
I essentially live alone these days. A granddaughter’s stuff lives in my spare bedroom, but she comes and goes. She is young, and her life is full. Times such as the past snow, my daughter comes to stay with me, but I have adapted to being alone since my spouse died almost four years ago. I have learned to like being alone, so being around people for any length of time is becoming a challenge. Thus, the reading on courtesy was a good reminder to me. Being courteous, I am reminded, is about affirming the other, accepting them for who they are, not who I may want them to be, and going beyond politeness by actually paying attention to them rather than just saying “Hmm” at times.
The devotional closes with these words: “I will take every opportunity to be courteous to those nearest me, as well as those outside my orbit. The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments and give dignity and importance to the members of my household, making them feel secure and loved. Courtesy makes a less troublesome game of life. Misunderstandings melt away. It gets rid of avoidable obstructions.”