I just finished The Secret Book Society by Madeline Martin earlier this week and have had to sit with it for a while as it deals with the patriarchy of Victorian England and the abusive ways it was used to keep women in their place including having them committed to asylums on the base of the husband’s say-so. It raises the painful ways so many women are mistreated in cultures around the world today. It’s a decent read with a happy ending, which isn’t always true in daily life, but then one of the reasons we turn to books is for the happy endings which give us hope.
Patriarchy and spousal abuse are still alive and well, not just in Great Britain, but right here at home. If we are unaware of abuse occurring in our communities and churches, it is because we have avoided the truth and have made a point of not getting involved. And as in the book, it takes a lot of courage for a woman to admit that her husband is abusive. While the criminal justice system may be more responsive in most industrialized countries and the US, we still have a long way to go as the me-too movement made all too clear. Society still tends to blame the women rather than holding the offending men accountable. If you doubt that, consider the fact that we have elected a sexually abusive man to the White House, rather than trusting a very competent woman to lead our country, not just once, but twice!
I have never been sexually or physically abused myself, yet I’ve had to deal with years of demeaning behavior on the part of men, as well as I have been called to support women who had serious issues to face when caught in abusive traps. And let’s face it, patriarchy has kept the glass ceiling firmly in place. Precious few women earn the same wage as men while doing the same work. And, when women have insisted on fair treatment in the workplace, far too many men have cried foul because they don’t like to be outshined by talented females.
One of the texts for this Sunday’s lessons comes from Matthew when Jesus calls out the Scribes and Pharisees as hypocrites because they have a different set of rules and standards for the little guy than they apply to themselves. We humans find it so much easier to make complex laws and rules than to abide by a sense of common decency and fairness. When I listen to the news I just want to shake my head in despair, yet despair never changes anything. Consequently, my advice, for whatever it’s worth, is simply to make an effort to wake up each day grateful to be alive and then do those little bits of kindness that we each can do to make this world a bit sweeter and better so you can go to bed each night, grateful to be alive.