Mary Davis has a simple formula for dynamic living. “Shine brightly. See beauty. Speak kindly. Create joyfully. Live thankfully.” If there ever was a time when there are good reasons for unhappiness and despair, it is now. Yet, precisely because these are challenging times, it is vitally important we implement Mary Davis’s suggestions. Negative thinking just makes whatever is wrong seem that much worse. Looking for the hidden strengths and opportunities in difficult times helps restore clarity and reveals better ways to respond. As I’ve often shared, living thankfully is a choice. It doesn’t just fall from the skies. We have to be very deliberate in developing the habit of gratitude.
See beauty, Mary Davis tells us. The sun is shining. Birds gobble bread crumbs at the feeder. A fat squirrel runs across the driveway. A painting by Leslie Varella graces the wall across from my blogging chair. Sun shines through several stained glass art pieces created by our daughter. House plants cluster in front of the windows. I see beauty everywhere I look.
Speak kindly. We too often save our good manners for friends and strangers and thoughtlessly dump our bad moods, criticism, and cutting remarks on family. It is easy to take our loved ones for granted and assume they know we love them, while rarely telling them ”I love you” or saying “thank you” for doing the dishes or taking out the garbage. We humans are fragile beings and easily wounded. A thoughtless remark can fester for years. But, we can change. We can do better. It takes time and a lot of starting over, but we can do it.
Create joyfully. Writing these blogs gives me a sense of satisfaction, of contributing to the betterment of the world in a small way. My blogs become prayers for me, reminding me to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly. Making quilts and comforters for Project Linus, the homeless, friends, and strangers is also deeply satisfying. The process of creating something lovely has this way of opening me to life.
Live thankfully. One of the first things I do each morning is write three things for which I am grateful in my gratitude journal. Focusing on gratitude, rather than my fears and concerns, helps to set the tone for my day. When I tire of being positive, I remind myself that scientists claim a consistent practice of gratitude can be just as effective in treating depression as medication.
I’m not sure why Mary Davis started her list with “shine brightly.” To me shining brightly is the end result of seeing beauty, speaking kindly, creating joyfully, and living thankfully. For me, shining brightly means treating others with respect and dignity, refraining from judging, looking for ways to bring out the best in myself and others. As Henri Nouwen once wrote, “the discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.”
Joyce Shutt isthe author of STeps to Hope and is a veteran 12 stepper
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