“We can’t stop the waves. But we can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn*
The first time I heard this quote used in the context of one of my earliest mindfulness classes, I felt confused and generally frustrated by the notion that I might be able to train myself to float, with ease, on top of life’s inevitable waves of difficulty. My most recent couple of years had been turbulent, to say the least. So finding calm, peaceful waters felt a whole lot more appealing than picking up a surfboard.
How was this simple practice of mindfulness supposed to help me navigate rough waters? I had become a lot better at disconnecting completely, numbing myself to the experience of physical pain and anxiety, withdrawing from social interactions, and generally finding ways to distract myself and avoid discomfort. Running away from the rising waves seemed like the only way to prevent getting pulled under by the current.
Taking this metaphor just a bit further…I have never been particularly fond of even the idea of surfing. While I find the sound of ocean waves and the smell of the salt air to be inherently soothing, even therapeutic, the idea of willingly getting tossed around by the sea sounds like punishment. That said, as a young person, I was actually a competitive swimmer. Through practice, I learned how to skillfully streamline my body and use the strength and movement of my muscles to propel myself forward. I also spent a great deal of time and effort learning breath control and how to match the rhythm of my breath with my strokes. I have often been reminded of this sensation in recent years and how it parallels my yoga and mindfulness practice.
In the Western world, yoga is often thought of as a physical practice; however, the postures or asana of yoga are just one of the eight limbs of yoga as described in the ancient foundational teachings of Patanjali. Pranayama, or breath control, is another one of these eight limbs. Breath awareness is a central tool of modern mindfulness meditation practice as well, used as a focal point or “anchor” for our attention.
One of my favorite practices to teach both breath control and breath awareness is 3-part breath, a practice that allows us to experience and pay attention to the fullness of our breath and where it flows in our body. Often, without giving it too much thought, our breathing is shallow, living primarily in our chest. However 3-part breath guides us to lengthen the inhale and exhale by focusing on three separate phases of the breath. First the practitioner uses the diaphragm to breathe fully into the belly. The attention then follows the breath upward, expanding through the ribcage and then finally filling all the way up through the chest cavity, pausing at the top and then exhaling and releasing slowly in the reverse order, pausing again at the bottom before building once more.
My favorite visualization to support the practice of 3-part breath is to imagine the rise and fall of a wave, maybe even bringing one hand over the belly and one hand over the chest to feel into the physical sensation of breath moving like a wave within us. Eventually, this might create a steady rhythm to settle into – perhaps we are even carried by this wave of breath into a more peaceful state of body and mind. It was as I taught 3-part breath this past week to a group of students that I was reminded again of Kabat-Zinn’s quote. “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” The intention of mindfulness is not to stop the mind from thinking or to avoid the constant (and unpredictable) flow of life, but rather to be with each wave that comes our way with presence of mind, rather than feeling like we are being tossed around uncontrollably by the swells of the sea.
In my humble opinion as a yoga instructor and practitioner, conscious breathing is one of the most beneficial exercises we can do for our body, mind, and heart. The word prana is also translated as “life force energy.” Learning how to be present to our breath teaches us how to be present to so much more. When we are more fully present to life, inviting ourselves to be with whatever is showing up, we are able to respond with more balance and adaptability (kind of like the skills required for surfing!) through difficult moments, without getting pulled under. And we are also able to lean into moments of joy, appreciating and living into the fullness of our experience.
Depending on your own personal reality and the present moment you are facing, you might be thinking to yourself that you would prefer calm, predictable waters. However, the tides of life will inevitably rise and fall. We know this. Perhaps mindfulness doesn’t allow us to “float with ease” through it all – there is a great deal of effort involved in the learning and the practice of any discipline, whether it’s surfing, swimming, or meditating. However, through mindful living, we learn that we carry within us the capacity to meet any storm, with presence of mind, gentleness of heart, and the constant invitation of our breath to find peace within.
*Jon Kabat-Zinn, known as the “father of the mindfulness movement” in the Western world, is a professor emeritus of medicine at the University of Massachusetts. He has authored numerous books on mindfulness for beginners and seasoned practitioners alike, including most recently Wherever You Go, There You Are and Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief. Kabat-Zinn founded the world renowned Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program.
