I ran away for the weekend with a daughter and a friend. It was wonderful getting away and spending quality time with these two fantastic women. I sometimes feel sorry for men who seem less able to form these kinds of close ties with other men. I know my husband often commented on the bevy of women who were part of my close emotional circle. Of course, attending Coda helped because it was in the program that I learned to detach from other’s stuff and not personalize others’ misunderstandings or periods of distancing.
We did all sorts of interesting things over the weekend, including visiting the Innisfree Garden in New York. This garden is unusual as it has only native species and is carefully designed to feel very natural. I didn’t hike the whole garden like the other two because the terrain was simply too steep and rough for this old timer, but I loved what I saw and the sense of peace I felt in becoming one with God’s beautiful earth. The other outstanding thing we did was visit the Governor Pinchot mansion and learned how he was the first in our country to stress the importance of conservation, maintaining national forests and parks, I came home very aware that my time is limited and each day is precious and not to be wasted. Nor do we have to do dramatic things to make each day special. Just being aware that this day is a gift to be savored, a day in which we practice gratitude, a day to be celebrated is what gives meaning and joy.
Tonight one son flies in from Montana for a much overdue visit and this morning I talked with our other son in which he talked about a new challenge he’s taking on: mentoring adjudicated youth and becoming their advocate. When asked why he wanted to take on this very important responsibility, he told his interviewer, “It’s just what our family does.” I loved that answer. It fits so well with two papers a grand-daughter wrote for one of her master’s courses in which she spoke of how deeply she’d been influenced by the service motif that has shaped our family, and how the extended family has fostered or adopted 57 children (that’s both her dad’s and mother’s sides) has impacted mer.
Which brings me back to living one day at a time. If we don’t make the most of today, we’ll never have the chance to redo it. Life is short (even when it seems long) and we only have so many hours and days to embrace the beauty around us, the people who cross our paths, to love, embrace, and forgive our family members, etc. We all come from dysfunctional families, but that need not stop us from treasuring the life we’ve been given. The challenge facing each of us is finding ways to use our brokenness to treasure life and help others. Henri Nouwen said it well when he talked about becoming wounded healers.
AA’s Just for Today sums up what I’m feeling today: “Just for today, I will live this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes that Abraham Lincoln’s statement is true: “That most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.” There is more, but you get the idea.
God, fill me with awe for this beautiful day and help me treasure it whether the sun is shining, the rain is pouring down, or all my plans got turned upside down. Help me remember that I am the one who gives meaning to my life by living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace with an attitude of gratitude and profound appreciation for the gift of life. Amen