By Joyce Shutt
When I was younger I sought my version of fame and fortune. I wanted to make a splash on the world, to make my mark on history. I wanted my life to make a difference, to forge a path for others, to make a name for myself by bringing hope to others so they could fulfill their dreams. After all, a girl could dream, couldn’t she?
Attending a very small college back in the 50’s, Bluffton College in Northwest Ohio, it wasn’t difficult to stand out in a student body of a little more than 300, yet being there taught me an important lesson. We don’t have to be a big frog in a big pond to make a difference. We can do what we can do wherever we are, for it was there at that small Christian college that I learned that putting people ahead of wealth or standing was what the Jesus journey was all about.
I’ve read the book, What Would Jesus Do, at different stages of my life. Simplistic? Perhaps. Yet that question, whether in the forefront or background of my consciousness, has helped shape my life. When in doubt, I find myself asking that simple question. “What would Jesus do?” When viewed from that perspective, the differing belief systems, rituals, methods of baptism, communion, etc. no longer are important, for above all else, Jesus came to show us how to care about others and ourselves by being humble and caring to everyone, not just some. That question has influenced the way I see others, to view racism, sexism, politics, my relationship with others, and has determined where I have chosen to put my energy and time. For instance, I have never regretted being a full time mother when our four were small. Today, watching the ways our children and grandchildren parent and relate to the outside world in their jobs and communities makes me grateful that I sacrificed some of my goals to be with them when they were younger. Yet those years of staying at home and living on a smaller salary also prepared me for what I did later on in life. Nothing we do experience need ever be wasted, even our traumas and challenges.
Now that I am older, I no longer have a drive to make my mark or to stand out in the crowd. It takes most*y of my energy maintaining my independence, not just for my own benefit, but also to relieve my daughter from having to do so much for me. I have learned to be content with my books, houseplants, quilts, church, and friendship groups. Going to the grocery store with my granddaughter counts as a delightful social event for me.
Over the years I have also learned the power of gratitude as a major force in meeting my social, emotional, and spiritual needs. I am as grateful for a crisp apple as I am a gourmet meal. I am satisfied with the clothing that I have, even though they may be out of style. I am learning to be more graceful in accepting my limitations such as no longer driving. In fact, that decision allows me to donate my older but dependable car to someone who needs a car in order to hold a job.
I think Laura Ingalls Wilder said something like “it is the simple things of life which are the real ones after all.“ If only we could learn that lesson when we are young when the allure of wealth, power, and fame seem to accentuate our innate selfishness and to see money as providing a false sense of security. Yet, if we are lucky, we will discover at some point in life that our security and happiness lies not in wealth and power, but in the well-being of the larger communities in which we live, for when everyone’s needs are met there are fewer reasons for unhappiness and war.