Discussing several of Jesus’ parables at church yesterday, along with listening to the news, has reminded me that life is just a great big messy game of chance. We can devote our lives to good works which are significant, but in the end we can’t control what others do, say, or respond. We have to be content with living our lives by doing the best we can, accepting ourselves as flawed human beings, learning to forgive ourselves when we mess up, and starting over knowing that all we have is today, this moment. We simply can’t control what others do.
Life is too short for worrying about the future or holding grudges or expecting people to be someone they aren’t and then being annoyed or angry with them for letting us down. After all, no one promised us that life would be a rose garden. Reading the Bible for clues on how to guarantee that we live a happier, more contented life may be the wrong way to read it. But again, maybe not. Maybe it’s underlying message is that we just have to be content with the lot we have and to find joy in the everyday moments and events of life. Maybe we don’t have to think that it is our job to change the world. Maybe it is enough to be kind, and generous and grateful. After all, life is just a big messy game of chance, and all we can do is all we can do.
The reward for living is knowing that we have struggled, learned, improved, changed over time. It is learning to be grateful for who we are and the gifts that are ours. I keep reminding myself of that when I read the news. Just because our leader is a narcissist doesn’t mean that I give up hope or become selfish myself. It does mean that I do what I can to take care of myself, to try to learn the lessons life has to teach, and support those I love in a myriad of ways. It does mean that I stop expecting that life should be easy and that tragedies and heartbreak should not be part of my journey.
Over the years I have had a love hate relationship with the Apostle Paul. I have blamed him for the ways we have misconstrued his writings, especially relating to women, but I also see him as an example for my life. When I get discouraged, I think of him writing his letter to the Philippian church which is so filled with joy, love, and hope. If he can be joyful in prison awaiting a death sentence, then I can be grateful for my simple life.
When I was attending Al-Anon and Families Anonymous, the old-timers kept reminding me when I got discouraged that I was not there to fix my loved ones, but to change myself in positive ways, learning to be more accepting, less critical. My role was to back off and to learn to give my struggling children credit for the small victories they experienced, even when I couldn’t see them. That’s a good reminder to all of us. We are all on a journey and we don’t know what struggles others have or the small victories they experience. Our most important stories do not need to be shared. Instead they are written in the pages of our hearts and found in the secret messages hidden in the wrinkles of our souls.