At our CoDa meeting, last night, we talked about the 10th step. That’s the step in which we take time each day to review our successes and our failures. Unfortunately, most of us have been programmed to focus on our failures rather than our successes. We’ve learned how to blame and shame ourselves when we stumble while downplaying our successes. That’s why keeping a gratitude journal is so important for many of us. There is something about writing things down that makes them more real. No matter how bad things may get, there will always be something for which we can be grateful, even if it is being inside on a rainy day or having a drink of water. Gratitude, like anything else, increases the more we practice being grateful. I’ve often thought that Jesus’s “they who have eyes but cannot see” is referring to our lack of gratitude.
We don’t have to wait to win the lottery before we practice gratitude! Becoming grateful for the little stuff is the whole point of practicing gratitude. That’s the underlying meaning behind “Give us this day our daily bread.” Jesus didn’t tell us to pray for unlimited riches and bread for our entire lifetime. He told us to be grateful for having just enough today. He encourages us to become ever more aware of just how many little things make up the tenor of our days. When we obsess on our problems, that’s all we see. When we practice gratitude, we become more and more aware of all the resources that are ours while, at the same time, no longer assuming life owes us anything. Everything, after all, is a gift.
When we talk about living in the moment, we are talking about acknowledging all of the people and details that shape the foundation and backdrop of our lives. I simply can’t conceive of life without my family and friends.. Now that my husband is gone, I regret not having thanked him more often for the steady support he gave me. Every day, I thank both him and God that I am able to flourish today because of his faithfulness in the past.
I haven’t turned on the heat yet, I am using less water, doing without new clothing, and eating simply, not because I am worried about money or feeling a need to sacrifice. I’ve decided to fast in this new way for me: by doing with less in many areas of my life. I find it too easy to ignore all of the seemingly little things that fill my days and make life comfortable. Getting up in a chilly house reminds me there are people without warm homes. Not letting the water run until it gets warm reminds me there are people who have no water at all. When I find myself grumbling because I don’t have the right outfit, I remind myself there are people who are lucky to have one change of clothing. Then instead of feeling deprived and unhappy, I feel blessed and grateful.
The older I get, the more I understand The Apostle Paul’s injunction to be grateful in and for all things. Without gratitude, life is empty. We can be as pious as possible, attending prayer meetings and worship services, doing acts of penitence, and constantly depriving ourselves, but without gratitude, they fall flat and leave us empty and unsatisfied.
Gratitude is the door to happiness. Gratitude is the root of contentment. Gratitude is serenity’s sister. When we are grateful, there is little room for self-pity or grumbling, for it’s gratitude that enables us to move into the pain that is so much a part of life to find God’s courage and grace awaiting us. It is gratitude that helps us learn the lessons life has to teach us. It is gratitude that transforms our failures into opportunities. It is gratitude that turns fear into faith, and hopelessness into hope. It is gratitude that transforms the finality of death into new life and new beginnings. And for that, I am deeply and profoundly grateful.
Joyce Shutt is the author of Steps to Hope and is a veteran 12 stepper