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Habits

Attitudes, it’s been said, are simply deeply entrenched habits of thought.  The good news is: we can change our habits and thoughts,  The downside of recognizing that attitudes and feelings are no more than habits is that changing our habits and thought patterns  is hard work and takes time.  A long time.  As Paul Myer said, “ An action repeated becomes an attitude realized.” We unconsciously adapt our attitudes to complement our behavior.   In seminary, one of my professors kept reminding us that as pastors what we do will be far more important than what we say, or,  as my husband would tell our children, “your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear your words.”

     Recognizing our thoughts as simply mental habits is both positive and negative.  The good news is: we need not remain trapped in our dysfunctional habits and thought patterns.  We can change.  The bad news is: changing our thoughts and habitual responses requires a long-term commitment. Like a lifetime!   But there is help, such as affirmations and sentence prayers, what Henri Nouwen called “prayers of the heart.”  He wrote at length about the efficacy of simply repeating a short affirmation or prayer until it moves from your head into your heart.  You don’t really have to think about what you’re saying or try to feel differently, he wrote. You just have to repeat the same words, such as “thy will, not my will” over and over and over. As we repeat those words, “thy will, not my will”  as we mow the yard, wait for the light to change, commute to work, load the dishwasher, etc., we are reprogramming our brains.  

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        There are many positive affirmations that we can use to help us think healthy thoughts. .Our pastor says her favorite affirmation when she faces difficult people and situations  is “bless them, change me.   Several rehab centers tell their clients to repeat out loud  “I am a beautiful, worthwhile person” each time they go through a doorway.  Another effective way to avoid saying the wrong thing at inappropriate times is by counting to ten before blowing your top or spewing a volley of cuss words.

       I’ve blogged in the past about power being the absence of obstacles.  That’s why knowledge can be so powerful.  The more we know about something,  the more choices and options we have.   Over the years I have found that working the 12 steps has removed many obstacles for me.  The more I focus on changing myself and my responses, the better I feel,  not just about myself, but others and the world. 

Joyce Shutt is the author of Steps to Hope and is a veteran 12 stepper

#habits

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David Tillett
David Tillett
1 year ago

Merry Christmas, Joyce!

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